Showing Yourself Out – an Erotic Energy Exercise

Each year, we offer a 6-months training to help people deepen the erotic and emotional connections in their lives. In this training, many exercises use verbal communications and others are more tactile and touch-based. But there is also a very unique technique around erotic energy we call “Showing Yourself Out”.

Why Show Yourself Out

Showing Yourself Out is a deeply empowering experience during which you share your internal erotic energy out in the world.

With a lover, it can be profoundly arousing to fully connect with your erotic energy. You link with them from a wholly erotic place, enticing them into your sexuality and desire. It also feels good to walk through life, connected to your erotic energy, and flirt with the world in an open, engaged, and non-intrusive way.

If You Were Socialized as a Woman

As a woman, you were taught to be sexy but not sexual.

Showing Yourself Out is – first and foremost – a connection with yourself and your own erotic energy. It is tapping into the profound nature of your eroticism – and then connecting with others from this empowered, erotically-embodied place.

It is not a show – it is an intimate exercise of self expression and invitation. As a woman, this is a unique opportunity to be proud of your beautiful sexuality. To be the one who both desires and is desired – instead of only being allowed to be desired.

If You Were Socialized as a Man

As a man you were taught to be the one who gazes and desires – but not the one who is gazed upon and desired. Also, you likely learned early on in your life that your desires are creepy. And that you live in a world of scarcity where you are supposed to jump on any invitation.

To Show Yourself Out as a man means fully embracing who you are as an erotic being. It’s a method of deeply enjoying this part of yourself, while letting go of the idea that it has to be met by another. It also proposes allowing yourself to be gazed upon and desired. And most of all – to receive this desire as a way to feel your internal flame glow warmer.

If You Were Not Included

Or maybe you found you didn’t fit neatly into any of the binary gender categories. Perhaps you are someone who grew up feeling like they did not possess the requirements to be seen as traditionally attractive. For you, Showing Yourself Out means fully embracing the beauty of your inner and outer self, shamelessly.

For trans people, people with disabilities, or those whose bodies do not fit the unattainable beauty standards of our culture – it means dressing how you want, dancing how you want, speaking how you want. Loving the body you have, or creating the body you want.

It means connecting with the profound power of your erotic self as another resource to support you in those moments when the rest of the world does not. Reclaiming yourself from other’s thoughts and opinions, and standing proudly in your true self.

How to Show Yourself Out

1. The first time you try this technique, stand in front of a mirror or in the middle of a room where you have some privacy and feel relaxed. Later, once you feel more comfortable, you may want to try it in front of your lover while they are standing, sitting, or lying down. This will allow them to watch you in all your glory.
2. Decide whether you want to play music, or just let the sounds of your own breath wash over you.
3. Close your eyes and start taking some slow deep breaths, in and out through your mouth. Breath deeply into your lungs, and let the breath connect you with your pelvic floor, the center of your desire.
4. As you breathe, begin moving and touching yourself in a way that feels arousing TO YOU. Remember – this exercise is, first and foremost, about connecting with yourself.
5. As you deepen into connection with your erotic energy, open your eyes and look in the mirror (or at your lover). Communicate with that look the sexy, sensual way you feel inside.
6. Walk towards your reflection or lover – or even get on your hands and knees and crawl forward – maintaining eye contact and connection.In this video, we demonstrate how you can summon your erotic energy:

Take This With You and Share It

The most important thing is to fully let yourself feel your erotic energy. Relish your arousal and let yourself be seen in all of your beauty and power. See what it feels like to walk in the world with this kind of self-possession and self-connection – and without expectation of anything in return. We think you just might like it!