What Does A Sex Coach Do All Day?
What do sex coaches and movie stars have in common? Both professionals seem to lead glamorous and exciting lives, but it can be hard for people on the outside to understand what they actually do.
We can imagine A-listers on set rehearsing dialogue and going over taped scenes – but what about when they’re not on set? What do sex coaches do when they aren’t in session? What does the daily life of a sex coach actually look like?
The Life of a Sex Coaching Entrepreneur
You open your eyes and look out the window from your Airbnb at the view of the new city you’ve traveled to. You walk to a café where you sit and check your client inquiries for the day, have a nice cup of coffee, and start to write up your latest thoughts on intimacy for your weekly blog post. In your writing, you share vulnerably about your own growth and challenges.
Later, you go back to your Airbnb and open your computer for your first Zoom session of the day with a couple. It feels exciting to know that you can work from anywhere in the world.
The beauty of being an entrepreneur is that you get to set your own working hours and focus on creating a day-to-day life that is energizing, enjoyable, and satisfying for you. When you aren’t working with clients, your days might be filled with attending a sexuality conference, getting together with other coaches to brainstorm about clients, giving TED Talks, or sharing on Instagram or TikTok to help your followers in ways you feel inspired.
You might help people by engaging with them directly by offering individual coaching, couples coaching, or couples workshops. You might also reach people by becoming a blogger, podcast host, or an influencer on social media. Or, you may take some time for yourself to recenter, learn, improve, and work on being even better at helping people.
Part of what makes answering “what does a sex coach do all day” difficult is that there is so much freedom that the day-to-day could look vastly different for different people. But despite these differences, all sex coaches have a few things in common: They care deeply about the wellbeing of others; they are driven by a calling to help; they are fiercely independent and value their freedom; and they have a healthy relationship with sexuality, and the human body.
The Day-to-Day Work of Being a Sex Coach
Waking up at home, brewing a nice cup of your favorite hot beverage, and taking a few minutes to check in with your own body and heart to see how you are feeling this morning. You check your calendar to see when your first client will be coming to your office, and you take some time to meditate on who they are and what the next step of their intimacy journey might be.
You look forward to greeting them with a hug, and hearing about their triumphs and ongoing goals.
Like movie stars, sex coaches strike a balance between working on themselves and working on their business. The best coaches are able to prioritize working on themselves while simultaneously improving their practice and helping their clients grow.
Working on yourself might look like this:
- Meditation, self-awareness, and practicing being present: Connecting with yourself is the first step in connecting with others, and many sex coaches work hard to make sure they are in touch and in tune.
- Professional development and continuing education: Staying on top of the latest news, advances, and techniques can mean indepth-reading the latest books – like Trans Sex – by experts in the field, or it can mean taking a class like the Somatica Institute Training.
- Getting outside feedback: While it may seem strange for a sex coach to see another sex coach, many find the external validation beneficial for gaining self-understanding and, consequently, helping their clients.
- Practicing and preparing: Just like actors need to rehearse lines and practice delivery, so do sex coaches. Some read from scripts out loud, others take classes on public speaking.
Working on the business is similar, but requires slightly different activities:
- Meeting with advisors and vendors: Accountants, lawyers, schedulers, assistants, and other people on your team can have important insight into the health of the practice. Meeting with them regularly allows you to keep up with what’s happening.
- Advertising, marketing, and self-promotion: Movie stars have to go to industry events and network – and so do sex coaches. Many have busy schedules, creating YouTube and TikTok content, doing outreach, and marketing themselves in other ways.
- Planning for the future: Growing a business requires a plan, and many sex coaches spend a lot of time figuring out what their personal plan looks like.
It’s All About The People: Who Sex Coaches Help
You get up early so you can arrive before everyone else on the first day of your three-day couples retreat. You have already set up the beautiful space to create a container for couples to practice with all different types of intimacy.
Over the next few days, you will guide them in exercises where they learn how to give each other sensual touch, share fantasies, and repair when they have conflict. You will help them self-reflect, cheerlead their bravery, and encourage them to show up fully in their partnership.
For some sex coaches, it really is all about the clients. Sex and relationships are areas that almost everyone could use some help in, so a sex coach is likely to see an incredible variety in clients with an almost infinite range of challenges.
- An inexperienced 22 year old who is embarrassed about missing out on dating in high school and college, and wants to learn how to be an amazing lover in a safe, supportive space.
- A lesbian couple who had amazing hot sex in the beginning and want to bring the spark back.
- A 63-year-old man who has just gotten divorced after 32 years of marriage — the last 10 of which were sexless. He is trying to get back into dating and is ashamed of some health issues that are causing occasional erectile dysfunction.
- A couple (she’s 42, he’s 45) whose sex life has been suffering because of a long battle with infertility. While they were finally able to have a child, their sex life hasn’t recovered.
- A 25-year-old gay man who has just come out to himself and is ready to explore with other men but doesn’t know where to begin.
- A couple (a bisexual woman, 35, and trans man, 27), who have just started to explore non-monogamy and had a misunderstanding about a sexual experience one of them had with someone else.
The examples of individuals and couples who might come through your door (or set up an online session) are endless. As a sex coach, part of your day might be talking on the phone with these clients, seeing them in person, or meeting with them virtually.
Making Your Career Truly Your Own
While some people make a broad invitation and enjoy working with whomever reaches out for help, other coaches market to particular categories of people or become experts in helping people with specific issues.
This might include creating practices around:
- Female sexual empowerment to help women overcome the sexual shame they’ve been given by society, religion, and/or family
- Sexual dysfunctions like premature ejaculation, inability to orgasm, erectile dysfunction, or pelvic pain
- Trans and non-binary support to help these folks feel comfortable and empowered in their self-expression
- Dating, including meeting people, flirting, making a move, and dealing with rejection
Finding Meaning In Your Career
At the end of the day, what it comes down to is finding meaning in what you do. No matter how you spend your time, you can go to bed knowing that you’ve made the world a better, more love-filled place. So what sex coaches really do all day is help people with these things:
- Explore and accept themselves fully
- Go out in the world and create the sex life, dating life, and relationships that they want
- Learn new skills so they are more capable and empowered in their intimate connections
- Reclaim their sexual desires and arousal when there has been a history of trauma
- Move through emotional blocks that get in the way of their full self-expression
- Lower shame and increase their communication skills
Are you ready to lead the life of a sex and relationship coach? Then join us at the Somatica Training – and get certified by the world’s leading training program.
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